26 January

Things I’m grateful for:

1. My in-laws. Little firebrand prayer warrior Kathy and big lovable Mike, who says that I’m now one of his heroes, never mind that he’s a retired first responder and should be one of ours.❤️❤️

2. More of my nursing staff, especially Alyssa, Claire, Angela and MaryGrace. Angels all.

3. I’m still breathing, relatively strong and ready to fight another day.

So this is a weird new angle. My dreams have returned. Last night I had some extremely colorful and very pleasant dreams, one of which involved us choosing a small vacation cottage close to the coast. The imagery was beautiful, highly-saturated color with plenty of sun and pretty little gardens full of wildflowers and veggies. My dreams up until now have been mundane, repetitious monochrome affairs that I don’t usually remember very well, if at all. 20 years ago they were still vivid and I even had the occasional flying dream, which for me is a treat. It must be all the chemistry I’ve been pumped full of that’s causing it, though I hope they continue after my body has purged all the poison.

Ugh. I had not one, but two nasty bouts of nausea today, both preceded by a crippling headache that came up from my neck. At first I blamed the ridiculous little hospital pillow for not supporting my neck but when I would get headaches at home, they would never be followed by such horrible nausea. Also, these bouts began only after I had my procedure on Friday, in which a bit of spinal fluid was removed and then a small amount of chemo was injected into the spinal column. Personally, I blame the chemo. The worst part of these bouts is that for the past two mornings, the nausea wave would hit right as my breakfast tray arrived, which made it nearly impossible to eat anything. I really hope these events stop.