28 January

Things I’m grateful for:

1. My artistic talent. It’s my greatest gift and yet I feel that I’ve squandered it for most of my adult life. Getting well again will mean addressing this deficit.

2. My ability to get along with others, to strike up conversations with total strangers. I’ve never considered myself a terribly outgoing person and I’m definitely an introvert, but you never know when someone may be in need of a genuine smile or a kind word. These are easy and painless to give and it just might make a huge difference to the recipient.

3. Rain in the night. I LOVE the sound of rain. Even better: The sound of a train’s horn through the rain. Awesome!

I skipped a day. So sue me. These headaches are partially posture-related and up until this morning (when I suddenly had a minor epiphany) I must’ve been holding my neck at an odd angle, because I would begin typing and about 10 minutes later my headache would start to rage. Now I’m using my rolling hospital tray as a desk. Derp. Shoulda thought of that earlier.

Another day of new small challenges. I seem to be developing mouth sores as a result of the chemo treatment, primarily on my tongue, which brings on a whole new meaning to the word pain. I attempted a dinner of roast pork with gravy last night but that was a BIG mistake. The pork was so dry that even after liberal amounts of gravy and water to wash it down, the constant chewing grew so painful that I couldn’t finish. I have a saline mouthwash that helps to soothe the sores but I may have to begin using a product called Pink Magic, which tastes foul but numbs mouth tissue.

The headaches continue as does the nausea, though for the latter there’s an easy-to-swallow pill that works pretty well.

Bone marrow biopsy tomorrow! Wheeee!🙄 Everyone pray, chant, bow to Mecca, burn smudge sticks, whatever it takes: we’re shooting for a leukemic count of 5% or under. When I was admitted to hospital, my count was 51%. That’s quite a bit of distance to cover in a few short weeks but my doc is optimistic. If the count is low enough I’ll get to go home for a bit, maybe a week or so, but if not, then I’ll need to stay for a repeat induction. Please, please please, I want to go home!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻