Today hasn’t been such a good day. I’ve been low-energy and groggy for most of it and I’m beginning to find it hard to eat again, not so much because of mouth sores but because once again, nothing sounds good. I’ve had to force myself to eat today and believe me, that isn’t pleasant. I was able to get out of my room and walk a bit this afternoon and that helped my mood and energy level somewhat, but I’m feeling lonely and cut off. Being all the way down here in San Antonio when my family is back in New Braunfels seriously sucks.
I just want to curl up, go to sleep and be awakened when it’s all over and I can go home for good. This constant state of exhaustion is debilitating. I’ve felt sort of unhinged and disconnected all day and I know it’s the chemo drugs working their way through my system. Well, that plus my surroundings – hospitals are not typically cheery places.
I’ve heard rumors that I may get to go home early after this chemo cycle but so far that’s all I’ve got – rumors. I don’t know how that’s going to work because I was under the impression that my blood cell counts need to be closely monitored and I have no way to do that from home. We’ll see what develops.