12 June, cycle 3B

My cell count dropped to the point where I received two transfusions this morning – one for platelets and one for blood. I’ve also been told that the Granix injections will begin tomorrow. This should be interesting. We’ll see if I end up with the same amount of pain in my hips that I had last cycle! Of course, this also means that I’m coming to the end of my last stay here at the hospital and I find myself both exhilarated and frightened at the same time. I’ll be leaving the relative safety of the hospital for the uncertainty of normal life at home. I’ll have to deal with any fevers, rashes or infections on my own without the expertise of round-the-clock nursing care. I’ve been so cocooned for the past six months that I’m honestly more than a little freaked out by this.

My mouth pain seemed to be lessening somewhat this morning but now, at 3:30pm, there’s once again a considerable amount of discomfort. I may have to break down and use more Pink Magic. The pain seems to be migrating up into my jaw and left ear, which is weird, or maybe a nerve is being affected, but whatever’s going on, I wish it would STOP. Not being able to chew properly seriously sucks and I had a small audience at dinner last night while I was desperately trying to finish my dinner. I finally got a bit snippy and said something to the tune of “I feel like a freak show.” Yep, come see the Incredible Dribbling Woman as she attempts to swallow a mouthful of food without having it spill down her chin. Get your tickets right here. Yeah, I got yer tickets…😡

Rory will be coming down tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. I’m feeling a bit cut off and more than a bit sad. A friendly beloved face will be a very welcome change.❤️