18 October

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me…🎉🎈🥳

Yep, it’s the first anniversary of my 59th birthday. Honestly, the sound of “60” is frankly so hideous that I’d like to deny its very existence for another year or so. My fifties are gone, up in smoke, POOF, and I’m staring down another decade, one in which I’ll transition from middle-aged to a senior. I figure that, at best, I have about another 20-25 years to go before my number’s up, and that’s going to go by in the blink of an eye. I begin to understand why some have thrown reason to the winds and plunged into an all-consuming quest for immortality. (Full disclosure: That won’t be me.) I also think I know why many major religions have at their core the promise of everlasting life for the “true believer.” We big-brained human animals simply have too much to do and not nearly enough time in which to do it, and we’re constantly looking for reassurance that there really IS more than the mere 65-80 some-odd years that we’re allotted. These are the thoughts that have been pinging around inside my head today.

Of course, I need to refocus and remind myself that at the very beginning of this year, none of us were even sure that I’d be around to celebrate my birthday! But for the grace of God and the expertise of my doctors, I’d most likely be taking a very long dirt nap right now. I’m very, VERY grateful for this, even though I may sound like I’m kvetching about turning one year older.

So yesterday we were going to drive into San Antonio and go to the Botanical Gardens for the first time but then I woke up feeling horribly dizzy. Like, drunken bed spins without the alcohol. Weird. I suspect an issue with my right inner ear because I’m pretty sure there’s fluid in there sloshing about. We changed our plans and stayed local, which is probably for the best given that Covid numbers have been rising again in our state. Also, Lauren wasn’t feeling great either so pulling the plug on the outing ended up being the right decision.

Rory cooked dinner tonight, a welcome change for me. Poor guy – I was getting all up in his face about preparing the dish a certain way and I had to really pull back and just let him do it. I admit, I have a horrible tendency to butt in and tell others in the kitchen that “THEY’RE DOING IT WRONG.” I try to be diplomatic about it but it still ends up being annoying as hell. This is definitely a character flaw that I need to work on!😝