15 April

GRATITUDES:
1. Every damn minute I’ve been on this beautiful, chaotic, messed-up planet
2. My Lauren and my Basil, my two treasures
3. The incredible support my friend network is providing
4. My cats, especially my little Amy, who probably won’t even know me by the time I eventually get home

I’ve been having a bit of a one-person pity party today. I don’t really want to see anyone, I wish I could keep everyone out of my room, and the LAST thing I want to do is stick a damn thermometer in my mouth again or have to feel my left arm being strangled by the blood pressure cuff! Ugh… It’s becoming incredibly painful to talk. Stinkin’ mouth sores. I’m even having a hard time staying hydrated because it hurts just to swallow a mouthful of water, and using a straw makes the pain worse. Fun, right? Uh, no.

I hope I can eat dinner tonight because I’ve ordered chicken enchiladas and one of the food service dudes said that they’re REALLY good. Of course, he also said that about the pulled pork with BBQ sauce that turned out way too sweet for my liking but I’m not giving up hope. Besides, the enchiladas are served with chicken tortilla soup, which is one of my favorites. My tummy’s starting to grumble but the animals should be fed in another half hour or so, so I don’t have long to wait.😊

I really do feel like a zoo animal on most days, pacing my enclosure, the only bright points of the day being mealtimes. The visitors outside the cage are at best benignly annoying and at worst, I want to rip off a limb, sort of like a wookiee pulling people’s arms out of their sockets.

I’ve been told that once my ANC reaches 0.5, I can take walks in the hall. Mind you, I’ve also been told that I’m to keep to the North side only, which means that I only have about 50 feet of hallway to walk. Yeah… that ain’t gonna fly. I may do a runner and sneak over to the South side. I may get in trouble but honestly, what are they going to do? Throw me out? Rap my knuckles with a ruler? I’ll stick to the more private hallway so I can reduce my exposure to bugaboos but there’s NO WAY I’m only going to walk 50 feet of hallway. I’ll feel like a hamster confined to an exercise wheel!

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