16 April

GRATITUDES:
1. I can still eat, even though it hurts.
2. Everyone who comes into my room remarks on how warm and welcoming it is, or that it has such a good energy. I find that very sweet.
3. My appetite, which despite all the chemical pounding has remained consistently high. I loves me my vittles!
4. My singing bowl. (Thank you, Basil!❤️)

Today wasn’t such a bad day, despite having a very weak spell after finishing my shower this morning. It passed quickly after resting and I felt much better afterward. My hemoglobin is taking a nosedive and I won’t be surprised if another transfusion is in the cards tomorrow. Oh joy… that means I get to fight through yet another Benadryl stupor.

I’m once again beginning to indulge in food fantasies. I know, it’s torture. A friend posted photos of her meal at a local (for her) Mexican restaurant and there were perfectly seared scallops nestled alongside what looked to be a steak or maybe beef fajitas on one side and a chili relleno on the other. I almost cried, it looked so good. Scallops are the one bottom feeder that I absolutely adore and, well, that beef looked amazing as well. <Whimper> I’m also getting inundated with ads on my FB feed about heirloom chicken, 100% grass-fed and finished beef, and this amazing tuna that looks NOTHING like the canned mush you get in the market. I need to stop looking up websites like Butcher Box or Cook’s Venture because FB now knows that I’m interested in this kind of thing and will pelt me with ads until I scream Uncle.

Rory and Lauren came to see me today, which was the high point of my day. Basil is (once again) working but they’re due to hand in their 2-week notice either today or tomorrow. With finals coming up, and then the SAIC online art course, they’re going to need as much free time as they can scrounge.

It’s only 6:45pm and not quite shift-change time and yet I’m thinking of just packing it in and heading to bed ridiculously early. My biggest concern with this is that my eyes will snap open at 3am and I won’t be able to go back to sleep. Maybe I’ll just stay awake for a couple hours more and watch stupid, mindless films. I’ve begun watching “WeCrashed” and even though I really like Anne Hathaway and Jared Leto, their characters in this series are reprehensible, greedy, cold-blooded, narcissistic manipulative cretins. Perhaps another viewing of a Ted Lasso episode might do.😊

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