20 April

GRATITUDES:
1. My nice soft cuddly blanket that I brought from home. Yes, even 61-year-olds need their binkie!
2. Solitude
3. Food (even though I’m having a hard time eating)
4. My suicidal, dumb-as-a-sack-of-hammers cat Amy, who is nothing but love

I was thoroughly drugged last night before crawling into bed and so I slept like a dead thing. I finally caved and asked for pain meds, which blunted the mouth pain enough for me to be able to rest. This morning I’m a bit groggy but alert enough not to feel too lethargic. I’ll probably take the meds again tonight because I really haven’t been sleeping well at all. Even on those nights when I’ve reported a decent amount of rest, the mouth pain has always lurked in the shadows, pacing and snarling.

I really, really hope I can eat my dinner tonight. It’s fish (baked cod) and I’m looking forward to it but I’m a bit concerned that I won’t be able to chew it. I had mashed potatoes drowned in gravy for the second day in a row for lunch and I’m not thrilled at the prospect of having to continue eating that. On the plus side: I found eating lunch today to be ever so slightly easier than yesterday. Whether it was the ridiculous amount of gravy or that my mouth sores are beginning to resolve, I don’t know, but I’m grateful for any improvement, no matter how small. Not being able to eat comfortably and being so limited in my choices is torture for a gal whose favorite pastime is mealtime! Oh, speak of the devil… dinner just arrived.😄

Okay, that was hilarious. TOTAL overkill. The hospital kitchen apparently decided that I needed an entire SOUP BOWL filled with poultry gravy! Oh, and multiple packets of tartar sauce as well for the fish, which actually came in handy (it was rather dry). The good news, though, is that I could actually EAT!!!😄🙏🏻❤️

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