4 May – 4th day of break

1. My home. So, so blessed.
2. My family. Bipeds and quadrupeds all!❤️
3. Rammstein. (They’re a German metal band and always good for a head-banging laugh. The lead singer sounds perpetually pissed off, probably because he’s snarling in German.😆)

Last full day of break. (*Sigh*) I’ll be spending it doing last-minute laundry and packing for tomorrow’s return to incarceration. I’ve already phoned Dr. Santiago’s office to double-check that the pre-authorization paperwork for hospital re-admission has been dealt with and after being transferred three times, finally spoke to someone who assured me I’d receive a call back from someone who knows what the hell is going on. Uh-huh. Color me skeptical. I also have to call the hospital later this afternoon to double-check that there will actually be a ROOM available for me tomorrow because I’ve run into this particular road bump before. You’d think that a hospital that has over 1,500 beds would be able to squeeze in a returning patient but apparently it’s complicated, especially given that my particular unit is a fairly small one. I’m also assuming that, due to Covid no longer being the threat that it was two years ago, elective surgeries are once again booming. All those folks who had to put off their knee or hip replacements are finally able to get them done.

This is Amy, shamelessly begging to have her tummy rubbed. This cat trusts me completely and I would never do anything intentionally to betray that trust, although I’ve accidentally stepped on her paw or body-slammed her when she’s been hovering at my feet and I haven’t noticed. Little dip-sh*t.

Mom? Mom! Mom-mom-mom-mom-MOM!!! Rub my tummy? Please? Little weirdo.❤️

Blurgh. I want to take a nap but the laundry beckons and I want to get everything packed and ready to go by this afternoon. Better get to it, I suppose. It isn’t going to fold or pack itself. (Rats. Where’s Mary Poppins when you truly need her?)

Well. I’ve been thrown a bit of a curve ball. After being on hold and then being transferred three times when I phoned my doctor’s office this morning, Dr. Santiago’s nurse called back around 3 this afternoon and told me that Dr. Santiago is trying to obtain authorization for me to do the rest of my treatments on an outpatient basis. He still wants to see me tomorrow at 1:30pm so I’m going to have to get myself down to his office somehow. If this does happen, I’ll be doing a LOT more back-and-forth travel to San Antonio unless I can somehow manage to get my treatments scheduled at the Texas Oncology office here in town. I’m mostly thrilled that I may not have to be hospitalized again but there’s a small part of me that feels very, very apprehensive. What if I need platelets? What if I need blood? Granix shots? Constant blood tests? The commuting to San Antonio could quickly become ridiculous, not to mention expensive due to gas prices being what they are currently. Thankfully my Ruby does much better on the highway than in town. She likes to stretch her “legs” a bit.😊 Anyway, I’ll know much more by tomorrow afternoon. And I WON’T have to report for re-incarceration tomorrow morning at the hospital! Well, not yet, at any rate.🙏🏻

Just got off the phone with Dr. Santiago. He’s furious with my insurance company. Apparently the reason why he’s trying to get authorization for outpatient treatment is because United Healthcare has flat-out refused to pay for any additional hospitalization while I’m receiving chemo. I’m a bit gobsmacked but honestly, I’m not surprised. So, here’s the tentative plan: I’m to go into the office tomorrow and while I’m there I will hopefully have another bone marrow biopsy to check for remission. If I’m once again in remission, then the plan for treatment changes drastically. Now we’re talking a bone marrow transplant, which definitely requires hospitalization and will be a LOT more expensive than the chemo (also hopefully with a more positive outcome, providing I can survive the total body irradiation. EEP). Nothing will be done, of course, unless United Healthcare pre-approves the treatment. I certainly can’t afford the $150-$200k needed for the transplant, not to mention the expense for the hospital stay. Holy shit. Just… holy shit. I can’t look too far ahead on this new path. I have to stay focused on the here-and-now, and trust (and hope) that this path is the right one, the one that will lead to lasting healing and long-term health.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻