24 September (day -5)

1. The realization that I won’t die from throwing up
2. New products that may help me get through this
3. Rory

Wow. The new chemo drug hit me like a speeding bus. The infusion didn’t get started until nearly midnight and lasted just under two hours, during which I felt sort of feverish and restless, but at around 5am the nausea kicked in and I’m very, very glad I had a bucket handy. Plus, I had a raging headache, which didn’t help matters. Today I’ve been trying to nap but the doc says to try to stay awake during the day; otherwise, my sleep schedule could get seriously messed up and I could end up with delirium. I’ve had that once before and it was unnerving, to say the least. The good thing is that all the nurses and support staff on this side of the Iron Curtain (the two sets of metal doors that close off the transplant patients from the rest of the floor) are wonderful and definitely know their stuff.

The day has been spent trying to do what the doctor says, which in my case means brushing my teeth and swishing with saline solution four times a day, not sleeping (much) during daylight hours, getting up and walking the halls (a very short hike indeed, since the unit is so small), and drinking as much water as possible. I’ve only been here a day and yet at one point today I found myself missing Rory and my bobbleheads so much it nearly reduced me to tears. I’m sure it’s because I know how long I have to stay here this time and that really weighs on me. I miss Lauren rubbing the back of my head and cooing, “Bunny fur!” I miss Basil’s snarky wit and goofy teasing. I miss my Ror. *SIGH*😔