5 January, 2023


GRATITUDES:
1. The college acceptance letters are beginning to trickle in for both of my bobbleheads
2. I’ve been fully cleared to drive again
3. It’s a beautiful day

That’s the first time I’ve written “2023”. It feels weird. This is the year that my kids graduate from high school. Back when the critters were enrolled in preschool, parents were chattering about when our kids would be graduating and heading off to college and 2023 felt like decades in the future. Now it’s here and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. How are we going to get both kids off to their respective universities? What will they need? Will they be able to settle in without much trouble? How far away will they be, really? Will they take the time to eat properly? Or even eat at all? That last worry applies mainly to Lauren because that kid will quite literally forget to eat and her diet is horrible, despite our constant nagging (or maybe because of it). Also, she’s her own worst enemy in the kitchen and could burn water. Oy. I have no worries about Basil in this department, other than possibly driving their college roommate nuts with the constant mess. I have a feeling that they will end up cooking for their friends, as long as they don’t mind vegetarian Asian cuisine 24/7. (They made a big batch of ramen eggs yesterday afternoon for school lunches this week and I’m doing my best to try to ignore them. I LOVE ramen eggs. They’re even better than deviled eggs!)

I’m currently sitting once again in the transplant clinic lobby, waiting to be called back to see Dr. Bachier and trying not to freak out too much. I have many questions to throw at him this week, one of which is the cost of one of my prescriptions. Since it’s a brand new year, we have to start all over again with our health insurance deductible, which is a significant out of pocket expense. I have a prescription refill waiting for me at our local pharmacy that’s going to cost us over $3,000. Yes, you read that right. Over three GRAND, just for some stinkin’ anti-fungal pills! I’m going to see if there’s a less expensive alternative because that’s just mental. The other questions are related to what was discussed with Dr. Peterson and Dr. Zhogi over the last two weeks. Honestly, I’ve never been diagnosed with chronic liver disease before and yet whoever wrote up the analysis of that CT scan in October seems to think that I have it. Really?!?? Cirrhosis? Are you f*cking kidding me? My cell counts have mostly shown that my liver is in good working order, except for when I was being pummeled with ridiculous amounts of chemo and antibiotics while in the hospital. Then there are the anomalies that showed up in my lungs and one of my kidneys. I can only hope that they’re also the result of too much medication because the alternative is scary as hell. Oh, and there’s that thing about my pancreas too. Lordy…🙄

Well then. I’m back home and slowly climbing off the emotional roller coaster. Dr. Bachier was able to put nearly all my fears to rest. I do have another CT scan scheduled for next week to check on the state of my pancreas, but everything else is good. My bone marrow biopsy came back negative on all counts, I’m still MRD-negative, I’m in full remission, all seems golden. The issues with my lungs and kidney are almost certainly due to how sick I was while still in the hospital, and Dr. Bachier said to not worry unless he tells me there’s something to worry about. I’ll take that.😊