Blogging about the Beast

I had another night of almost unbroken sleep, then at 4:30 Gail, my PCA, came in to take my vitals and proceeded to break down into a teary little ball. Apparently she’d been publicly dissed at the nurses’ station by one of the other nurses, a guy I’ve had as my nurse before who somehow…

Wow. What do you know. I think we’ve finally hit on a med combo that will dull the pain and allow me to sleep. I slept really soundly last night and didn’t have any wake-ups due to mouth pain. Dryness, yes, but I certainly wasn’t ready to scream into a pillow because of the discomfort.…

Pain. Rolling, seething, crashing waves of pain. It’s all that I know now and I feel like I’ve always been mired in it and will never escape. My rational mind knows better, of course, but when it feels as though some demented serial killer is repeatedly plunging an ice pick into my left eardrum, I…

Yes, I know I wrote at the end of yesterday’s post that BAB was going dark for a while. I lied. I’m posting. I’m BORED and there isn’t anything to do. Also, my iPad is working once again! Well, it was working already but it couldn’t connect to the internet so I pretty much gave…

Wow. No wonder I feel like crap. My numbers have plummeted again and I’ll need another transfusion. My white blood cells are now – wait for it – <0.1, which basically means that I have no white blood cells. Immunocompromised much? Such much! I am one delicate flower right now. Welp, I had hoped that…

So I ran a low fever last night. Only 99.0, not really a fever so much as a slightly elevated temperature, but now I’m totally gun-shy. The last time my temp was checked, at around 3pm, it was 98.4, well within the normal range. Still, I really, REALLY hope that it doesn’t climb because that…

This will probably be a short post because I really don’t have the patience for a long-winded soliloquy. I’m seriously cranky over the continued mouth pain, it’s interfering WAY too much with my food intake and even though I’m finding things that I can manage to eat without screaming in agony, I’m f*cking tired of…

My cell count dropped to the point where I received two transfusions this morning – one for platelets and one for blood. I’ve also been told that the Granix injections will begin tomorrow. This should be interesting. We’ll see if I end up with the same amount of pain in my hips that I had…

Slightly over seven hours of uninterrupted sleep = happy Robin, or at least a Robin that isn’t mumbling incoherently. Speech is becoming increasingly difficult however, due to a truly nasty sore that’s flared up on the side of my tongue. Here I was, all full of myself that I hadn’t had any significant mouth sores…

I switched up my routine this morning and took my shower before breakfast. I really don’t know why I haven’t been doing this all along – I have plenty of time to get clean before the trays come, I don’t have to worry about missing the calls from Food & Nutrition, my strength is better…