Blogging about the Beast

GRATITUDES:1. The care I’ve been receiving here at the hospital.2. My rather warped sense of humor, without which I’d be up a creek.3. A good night’s sleep4. FOOD I sort of let yesterday slip through my fingers, so no post, but the news is good: My mouth is a good deal better. I had few…

GRATITUDES:1. My nice soft cuddly blanket that I brought from home. Yes, even 61-year-olds need their binkie!2. Solitude3. Food (even though I’m having a hard time eating)4. My suicidal, dumb-as-a-sack-of-hammers cat Amy, who is nothing but love I was thoroughly drugged last night before crawling into bed and so I slept like a dead thing.…

GRATITUDES:1. Dr. Rao, my cardiologist here at the hospital2. My two ginger-colored plush bears who followed me to the hospital and are currently standing guard. One of them accompanied me on my first commercial flight to England, so he’s extra special.3. The sound of water4. My continued relative physical strength through all of this Welp,…

GRATITUDES:1. Clouds2. Birdsong3. Soft cool grass underfoot4. Tree leaves shimmering in the late afternoon sunlight Last night I finally caved and pleaded for some Pink Magic, an analgesic liquid that numbs the mouth temporarily. It killed the pain in my mouth long enough for me to be able to fall asleep. Despite all the discomfort,…

Pain. Seemingly endless waves of searing pain from the mouth sores. It’s getting difficult to stay hydrated because the very act of swallowing hurts like hell. I hope this doesn’t last for much longer because I don’t honestly know how much more I can take.

GRATITUDES:1. I can still eat, even though it hurts.2. Everyone who comes into my room remarks on how warm and welcoming it is, or that it has such a good energy. I find that very sweet.3. My appetite, which despite all the chemical pounding has remained consistently high. I loves me my vittles!4. My singing…

GRATITUDES:1. Every damn minute I’ve been on this beautiful, chaotic, messed-up planet2. My Lauren and my Basil, my two treasures3. The incredible support my friend network is providing4. My cats, especially my little Amy, who probably won’t even know me by the time I eventually get home I’ve been having a bit of a one-person…

GRATITUDES:1. My incredible husband and daughters2. My doctor (or as I like to call him, my bodhisattva)3. My nursing staff, angels all4. The beautiful day outside. I just wish I could open a window or listen to the birds! I didn’t post an entry yesterday because I was feeling incredibly under the weather. I had…

They aren’t going to cook my brains! They aren’t going to cook my brains!!! YAAAAYYY!!! Ahem. A little context might be in order here. Last week I was given a schedule of my new chemo protocol, which at first glance is longer and far more grueling than the last. In one of the cycles, “cranial…

Bluuuurrrrgghh… Had a REALLY rough night last night. I was put on a diuretic rather late (around 7pm) because I was turning into a swollen tick and also because my nursing staff is trying to keep my blood pressure under control. I’ve never before experienced high blood pressure so I don’t really know where this…